Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas, The worst christmas TV show ever and Star Fucking Hipsters.

So it's Christmas Eve the only night of the year when parents champion the idea that a fat reclusive man with a penchant for little children will break into your house and empty his sack into their bedrooms.
Anyway as it's Christmas Eve i thought it fitting to mention the worst Christmas TV show ever. You may or may not know that it is Star Wars Holiday Special. This is not just the worst Christmas TV show ever its one of the worst things to be filmed ever. Below is the abomination in its entirety, on a plus note you do get to see a wookie with tits if you like that kind of thing.

So Merry Christmas and a happy New Year cunts.

I listened to punk rock while i wrote this
Only Sleep/Star Fucking Hipsters

Brittany Murphy, the worst cup of coffee ever, 2012 and wrecktrospective.

When i heard Brittany Murphy was dead yesterday morning the first thing that my mind came up with was DRUGS. When hearing that it was a heart attack the same word rang in my head. Instantly my mind mind raced with all the possibilties of the worst death you could have in Hollywood. I know i am not alone in this way of thinking. Brittany Murphy dying is terrible she was the same age as me and its no age to die, and i feel sympathy for her family i really do. The media is rife with speculation of eating disorders and drug abuse but its all a bit thin on proof. Sadly i am a sadist and as sad as her death is what happened to the fantastic Hollywood death? John Belushi died from being up for 3 days shooting up cocaine and heroin, the night he died he was visited in his hotel room by friends Robin Williams and Robert De Niro. 2 months later Cathy Smith admitted to injecting John Belushi with the fatal speedball, Jayne Mansfield almost decapitated in a car crash, Dominique Dunne one of the stars of "Poltergeist" was strangled to death by her boyfriend whilst the music from"Poltergeist "played in the background, Phil Hartman was murdered by wife while he slept. His wife later returned to the murder scene and blew her brains out, Elvis Presley died on the toilet fat washed up and bloated reading "The Scientific Search for the Face of Jesus". These are the Hollywood deaths i want to see everyone seems to be dying of misuse of prescription drugs or disease this is not the Hollywood i have come to know and love.
Yesterday i took my car to the dealership to be fixed it needed a new tyre, brake pads, piston and disk. The staff were courteous, friendly and helpful. The coffee i had while i waited for a cab to pick me up was the shittiest skank i have ever had the misfortune to drink, no lie it was disgusting to the point i believe it might be a secret bitter as burnt whore batch made by a disgruntled employee.
I watched 2012 last night it made my coffee i had earlier that day seem like Moun Salwa from heaven.

I listened to punk rock while i wrote this.
Wrecktrospective/Fat Wreck Chords

Lies, time travel and punk rock.

Every one lies. A bold statement but true all the same. I'm a liar you're a liar we are all liars. Today I remembered a story I read years ago about John Titor who had travelled back from the future to pick up some IBM computer that NASA needed. He then frequented some IRC chatrooms and answered and dodged questions about the future. I know instantly it sounds like bullshit, if you have the ability to build and use a time machine, I'm guessing you don't need some 70's computer components so desperatly that you would risk sending someone back who could theoreticly destroy your existence. Anyway what I forgot was how great a story it was and how much I had enjoyed reading it. The site below has all the transcripts of John Titor chat logs, even though he is possibly mental and a fake, he is also pretty intelligent and imaginative with it. Imagine terminator mixed with back to the future told by a science teacher who likes the glass pipe and narcissism.
http://www.johntitor.com
This is the direct polarisation of what I think about the abhorent news I read every day. A recent story I read about a Brazillian boy who had 50 needles stuck into him by his cunt step father to ward away demons or some other equally retarded reason, angered me all day and still does days later. I would be more than happy to exact out the same to him, as I imagine most people would.
You can read the article here



I listened to punk rock while I wrote this.
Speed of mutation/screeching weasel.